Many people live a fast-paced life, one that is driven mainly by societal expectations that encourage a mentality where time must always be capitalized. Every minute, every second. We are told to keep doing more and having more.
This creates unrealistic expectations that induce tension and stress, which we carry along in our lives. It can also lead to feelings of self-centeredness and therefore, a disregard for others and for the role that interconnectedness plays in our own growth, success, and happiness.
When this mindset is compounded with the chaos, racism, stereotypes, discrimination, violence, and negativity around us, then a tense atmosphere is created — like dark clouds hanging overhead. Instinctively, we close up and build barriers to protect ourselves. Consequently, we begin to lose touch with what it means to be human.
Why do we keep striving to do more and have more, but not be more?
You have probably experienced tension or anxiety when making eye contact with someone. Typical responses are a quick look-away, cold grilling, stare down, or a “Whatchu looking at!?”
(If you have no idea of what I am talking about, then that means you are probably too tuned into your phone, music, or thoughts to notice anything else. You should be mindful and aware of your surroundings anyway. It might save your life one day!)
Eye contact can be awkward sometimes. Try to make eye contact and smile next time — makes a difference. That split second of a smile can instantly reduce or melt away those unwanted feelings.
Smiling can take effort if you are not used to doing it. It is like a muscle that needs to be flexed to grow stronger. Start off by practice smiling at your friends, family, and co-workers. Note how that makes you and the other person feel. Once you become more comfortable, then try it on acquaintances and strangers.
Disclaimer: This does not mean you have to lock eyes and perk up your cheeks at every person you come across, although you may certainly try if you are comfortable with it :)
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou
We are human and like our presence to be acknowledged. Acknowledgement can be given by a simple smile. It is a universal gesture that everyone recognizes and can vibe with. Think of how easily a baby lights up a room full of people with a smile. Even if the person does not reciprocate when you make eye contact and smile, that is okay. That person probably needs time to warm up. You did your part. Be consistent with it.
The most powerful weapon that you can use to neutralize feelings of tension or awkwardness is a smile. It makes you appear more friendly and approachable, as well as for the other person if reciprocated. If smiling at someone is difficult for you, then giving a head nod can be just as effective.
“There are two ways to spread light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” — Edith Wharton
A smile can have a positive ripple effect, if done genuinely — meaning don’t be a creep about it! It can help you strike up a conversation with the other person. It can instantly brighten up someone’s day. It can also brighten up your day.
Smile 🙂.
