Imagine you had one million dollars.
Think about all the things that you can buy! A new house, a flashy car, expensive clothing, eating at fancy restaurants, VIP services, etc. You can finally enjoy life, and it would be great without a budget. You will not have to worry anything — life would be amazing!
The age-old question is can material things bring you happiness? Can you be content with what you have, whether it is $1,000,000 or $100? While there is nothing wrong with having and spending money as it is a necessary part of life, problems arise when you are not content with what you have. Discontentment usually results from comparing yourself to others, which consequently creates feelings of inadequacy.
Buddhism teaches that the source of unhappiness is desire — which is true in the ideal sense. No desires mean no expectations, no expectations mean no disappointments, and no disappointments mean no unhappiness. However, most people do not live in that mental plane to contemplate giving up on their desires and passions. People need to live with a sense of purpose and are moved by ideas, desires, and aspirations.
Being content can be difficult because society promotes an “ideal life” for people to strive towards—one that usually focuses on material goods and luxurious comfort, which is supported by lots of money. You see others doing this, having that, and you want it too.
The challenge is to learn how and when to be content with your current state.
Leo Babauta of Zen Habits said that “contentment is a superpower”, and talked about the necessary skills for contentment:
1. Awareness. Notice when you are making comparisons when you have ideals, fantasies, and expectations, especially when they are making you less content and causing pain.
2. Acceptance. Do not beat yourself up about it and accept that this process is happening. It is part of life. Change what you cannot accept and accept what you cannot change.
3. Letting Go of Comparisons. When you notice the comparisons, accept that you have made them but realize that they are hurting you, and that they are completely unnecessary. You can let go of them and be perfectly fine.
4. Compassion. Compassion for yourself — this is how you let go of the ideals and comparisons. They are hurting you and making you less happy. It is a compassionate act to let go of them. Let them be.
5. Appreciation. Instead of comparing and holding onto ideals, focus instead on appreciating what you have, who you are with, what you are doing, and who you are. Find the good in each thing, including yourself.
6. Loving yourself, and everything else too. Once you have found the good to appreciate in yourself or anything/anybody around you, learn to love it. This is the beauty of life and it is incredible.
— adapted from the Little Book of Contentment by Leo Babauta
Sometimes, you do not know why you are doing what you are doing because you were told or forced to do it at a time when you were not mentally matured yet. Other times, you are aware of what are you doing but are motivated for the wrong reasons — jealousy, outdoing your competition, showing off, making ego statements, etc.
Strive for a certain goal in your own terms and be content with whatever happens when you have done the best you could.
Learn to be content so that you do not get caught up with comparisons and expectations that take away from your happiness and peace.
Be mindful to act towards others in a meaningful way that empowers and encourages growth instead of a demeaning way that creates resentment, jealousy, or other negative feelings.
“When you are content with simply being yourself
And don’t compare or compete,
Everybody will respect you.
Fill your bowl to the brim,
And it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife,
And it will blunt.
Chase after money and security,
And your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval,
And you will be forever their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.”
— excerpt from Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (translated by Stephen Mitchell)
